feeling much better.

Wow. Parents seem to always mess things up once you get your hopes high.

Original plans: spend new years with scott, see jill and willie tomorrow- perfect

F'ed up plans that are happening: new years alone.

My mom comes in and basically tells me I have to choose one or the other. Which is very retarded. She didn't want him over that late if she had to get up early to drive to the mall in the morning or some crap. She shouldve told me this BEFORE we made plans. Then I had to break them. I wish my mom knew how much little things like this mean so much to me, but whatever. Its retarded. So I spend yet another year watching the counting down by myself. I'm not staying up til midnight though. Theres no point in doing so. I'll probably crash around 11. Like always. Why stay up the extra hour? I don't even feel like going to the mall and hanging out with people I care about so much. I feel like staying home ranting in this stupid thing. But whats that gunna do? Absolutely nothing.

Dad just called. "Ohh me and ann are getting together tonight and having shrimp and ooh im gunna have sooo much fun" Shut up. Well, atleast hes spending new years with some one he cares about. Then again, i care about my pillow. So its even. Yeah. Pillow. Fun.

as we are looking back and then we'll understand we [held] *gold dust* in our [hands]

it takes a lot to let go.

Sorry, nfg stuck in my head bc i was listening to that song in the shower. You know what I did in the shower? So I was listening to nfg in the shower, and my friends over you came on and i got all excited so i was in the shower singing along and all that jazz when i slipped on the floor and fell and dragged the curtain dealy with me. Thank god no one was home so I could fix everything. That was definately one of the best things i have ever done.

I see Jill and Willie tomorrow... so excited! Running around the mall with sparkley glitter crap, going into the vibrator store... and since Jill wasn't with me and Willie last time, me and him will have to teach jill how to be Suave by buying a vanilla ice storm [no coffee no whipped cream] and with willie buying hot chocolate. Mmm yum. I can't wait for the Vanilla Ice Storm.

Kinda weird to think today is the last day 2003. Its been a great year, sooo much better than 2002. Ew 2002 suckeeeeed. To much drama. Waaay to much drama. 2003 was just awesome, like going toawesome  6 flags and miran having to sit next to that guy who followed us, the super bowl party with jessi h at her church with christian and ryan and kelsey etc, "OH MY GOD ITS JOCHUM HEAD!", "JESSICA! Shirt up pants down... crap no wait other way around", my bagel and jello and cool whip fetish, doing gabs hair with jamie, the summertime, walking to chikfila before homecoming, 32 times-i lost nathan won, me finding someone actually worthwhile and as a bonus someone that my friends approve of for once[bout effing time..], gabs getting her first kiss by my dog [lmao good times at the superbowl], san diego and las vegas, playing ddr at the mall the 1st time i met willie, me and jill's discovery of mac and cheese with friots and sour cream, code red/pixi stix shots(and secreting the camel while we were at it.. lol), "oh my its fruitcake weather!", badger badger badger, making pants, the devil corsage thats scarred my hand, losing power for 3 days while kara was here, "Color me beautiful biatch", "Well there I go just blowing naked in the wind again", pirates!, THE DISCOVERY OF THE NAME BEBE [thanks lynn you know we just ADORE you. *snarl*], and there is so much more... I hope this year will be just like it, and bringing in the new year with Jill and Willie makes it all the better.

I want this year to be something great.
Past years... man... from when i was 5-12 there would be a huge party at my friend Kk's house every year and we'd hang out in the hot tub and i remember there wa that guy Jason(?) and we were like so giddy about him and good lord. We always had so much fun, counting down and drinking sparkling cider and crap, it was always completely awesome. But now, me and Kk refuse to speak to eachother (stupid hoe nozzle , credit to jill for the word lol) and my dads moved 3 hours away so even if me and kk still talked, it wouldnt worked. Whatever. After that spent new years with jill. We watched the tv all night dying to see blink perform, and to stay up had code red shots with pixi stix. That was the best new years ever for me. Last year... I don't think i did anything, i cant even remember.. how pathetic. Well, musta been nothing special. This year- who knows. Still don't know whats going on for tonight, if anything does go down. If i have no plans by 8pm I'm gunna call up diana and im going to her house and spend new years with her and her new guitar [polka...dots... *dies*]

Happy new years...
-Jessi

back!

left at 5 effing AM! Why?! Ah well I slept til 8, then read a bunch, then watched ferris bueller read some more and then boom we were home.
i had a good time in nc, besides the fact the meemaw was driving me insane. I finally got pirates BUY I LEFT IT BACK IN NC!!! I am so sad. No more Johnny. But jill is bringing it on thursday when she comes up!! Eeee! Bringing in the new year with my instant potato like years past- yesss!! I could go into a huge long story about how we met for some reason but it would take up this whole thing with my love for jill. and i get to see her in 2 days! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I am -so- happy!

This was written by my hobo willie who shares my pudding ;)

 Oh pudding pudding
my favorite is the one with the stripe oh pudding pudding i want to eat you alll niggghtttt so lets get some pudding, and forget all our problems save all this for the morning
 yea thats when well solve em *80's rock love ballod*
 OH PUDDDDDiiiiiiiiNNNNNNggggggg!Where have you gone my dear?!?! OHHHHH PUUUUDDDDDIIIINNNG

pudding.

you can have my pudding anyday.

My pudding brings all the boys to the yard. "Aww the boys dont want my pudding"-Hobo

oh im sorry, lets go get some pudding.

man! computer erased my darn entry.
Well i am in nc, not much to do. Went shopping today bought some shirts and a belt [the belt got complimented on a college guy with swoosh hair so its all good]. On the way here I listened to mxpx the whoooooooooole way. WANT AD is engraved in my head. That and chick magnet. permanently stuck forever.
At the mall I was in wet seal when i hear, "HEY Gimme space so i can breathe!" and i whip around and see something corporate on the mini tv and i died. Just... died. I mustve looked like a fool, stnading there clenching my scarf and purse wide eyed and mouth open just staring at the tv. But hey what can i say.. something corporate *love*
gotsta go! pack! shower! sorry for a short entry..

stupid music my dad has to listen to *mumble*

Friday:
Dad picked me up in his new truck. Hooooooooooooooooooooooootttttt. I love it. So big. HEATED EFFING SEATS *dies*. We went to ann's where we opened gifts. ANN GOT ME A WATER PROOF RADIO/CD PLAYER THAT GOES IN YOUR SHOWER!!!! I almost died. B/c I sing so much in the shower (badly, though) and its so great and perfect and wonderfululul. Dad got me a portable dvd tv type thing so i can watch movies in the car- its pretty cool, but I dunno it was like he was trying to impress me or something... Watched ally and we watched legally blonde 2 and freaky friday- oh the joy *rolls eyes*. Man it was so good. Well you know how ally uses that thing against me- about me and scott and everyone and crap... well Ian comes in "So Jess.. hows this scott fellow?" and I'm all freaking out like "WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS CRAP FROM" it was pretty funny so I went off at ally, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL HIM OR THEM YOU CANT KEEP A SECRET IM NOT TELLING YOU ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!" and to an 8-9 year old thats pretty harsh so she was crying and I was laughing... it was great. I'm surprised my dad never brought up scott. He's not the over protective dad which is cool. Thats my grandpa. Then we [me ally ian ann and my dad] all played OUIJA! I heart that even though you know its fake. Ian was doing it the whole timebut ally believed it was true.. haha.Got home where the allergies kicked in so bad from the cat my right eye was completely blood shot and I forced my dadto go to the store. Lol. He listened to my whole cd- he likes matchbook romance! YAY! He was all dancing to outkast... and he loooooooooves the darkness. Everclear he knew all the words but thats no big surprise. He thought the postal servce was kinda weird.. but  oh well. He liked most of it.

Saturday (today!):
Wrapped gifts and watched game show network til about 1- good morning sunshine. Went to Rose's and hung out with Andrea the whole time. Talked about almost everything guy related- enough to not have her freak out and go all churchy on me. haha she was like "We're going skiing tomorrow.. you were invited but youre going to NC... man.. you should come.. we're going with brent (some guy) and his family and he has TWO older brother ones a freshman one is a junior and they are soooooo cute and since i'm into brent you could have two guys!!!" "you know, i still am going out with scott" "scott? whos he? i thought you went out with a todd?" "todd? whos todd?" "todd is scott?" "scott is scott." "ok" "alright". we went into the hammock and chilled out and as soon as I got out it effing broke. We ran inside and acted like nothing happened. We determined it broke bc i am oh so fat. lol. Matt - man he is still the best uncle. He taught me some karate moves. More like I gave him the TOUCH OF DEATH (simpsons you fools) and he blocked me then twisted my arm then showed me what i should do. We talked about some different animeness and played MARIO SUNSHINE... hahahha. I played the piano jacob had (ok just mary had a little lamb) and andrea was teaching me a song and i couldnt get it so i go "dammit" and she freaks out bc shes all religious and holy and ahrr..

i gotta go- nc is tomorrow. ill write either tuesday or wednesday.
much love and missingness <3
-Jessica with ONE J

pink gloves... pink socks... pink shirt... pink on my new shoes. Even a hint of pink eye shadow. Dun dun dun. Ah well I figured I might as well go pink today..Man I should wear my pink dickies but its to cold (theyre capris) out for them. And then die my hair pink. My dad say he would be here soon. Aka not for another 5 hours. I actually look pretty good today- my hair is all perfect like and I dont look like the normal crap! Figures I'm only going to my Dad's and not some place where everyone would be... sigh. Oh well. It will do. I got him the Dumb and Dumberer DVD... he better like it. I bought it with me own money too. I'm in some serious debt though... had to borrow a lot of money for christmas gifts from my mom (I only started out with what... 6 bucks?).. Oh well my aunt is coming today (won't see her til tomorrow though) and she's bringing me some cash up. That should pay off about half of it. I'm listening to the postal service... was matchbook romance and some fall out boy earlier. I'm gunna let my dad listen to the CD I burned (with fall out boy, matchbook romance, postal serive outkast [hell yes] blink 182, no use for a name, the darkness, saves, starting line, everclear, something corprate, etc) and listen to him make fun of my music- as always. Its always fun too. Me singing and him mocking the songs... Eh, he likes blink and everclear and starting line so thats good. And he looooves Something Corporate. I have taught him well. Haha, he got me into a bunch of music too... he got me into the clash, the ramones, greenday, sex pistols, BOB MARLEY, james taylor (lol), and all those good stuff. Hm, thanks dad for your music influence-ness. My dad said he got a new truck... I'm gunna miss the mustang *cries*. I loooooove the mustang.... the '89 one. +LOVE+. He said the truck has a 6 cd changer, heated seats (but they are leather...), and a sun roof *dies*. But I still love the mustang one CD player, sun roof that won't open, and comfy seats and food thrown everywhere. Oh well... gotta go! must make cookies!